December Holiday Essay #2:

My Ideal___________ Essay. Due January 7, 2013

Follow the instructions below ONE at a time. You will be applying your lessons in grammar and writing constructive sentences to this assignment.

1. Identify three optimum personality traits for ONE of the following

1. a best friend
2. a romantic partner
3. a teammate
4. a teacher
5. a parent
6. a leader

2. In three (3) paragraphs, explain:

1. each trait
2. why each trait is valuable
3. what kind of detriment the antithesis of each trait would mean in a relationship

3.   Use the following as supporting details:

1. an anecdote from your life
2. a hypothetical situation
3. an example from the real world, a book, television show or film

4. Write an intro and conclusion afterwards which

1. answers what makes an ideal ___________
2. moves from broad to specific (intro)
3. moves from specific to broad (conclusion)
4. hooks the reader

5. Check for a variety of sentences (simple, declarative, complex, imperative), then:

1. add a variety of sentences in each paragraph

6. Include 10 sophisticated vocabulary words from this class underlined

7. Find another person to read your paper for:

1. clarity of idea
2. spelling or punctuation errors
3. if the assignment is complete
4. variety of sentences
5. awkward or ambiguous ideas.

Your final copy:

• Due Monday, January 7, 2013
• May be handwritten or typed in full MLA format
• Between 5-7 paragraphs (no less or no more)
• Include ten vocabulary words
• Body paragraphs with a transitional phrase, clear topic sentence, supporting details, detriment of antithetical qualities and concluding sentence

Mr. Walker’s Guide to REVISING, EDITING and PUBLISHING an Essay

REVISING: Getting Clear, Clearer, Clearest

1. Eyes plus ears are sharper tools to catch mistakes.
2. Check that you understand and answered all parts of the essay question.
3. Ensure your thesis is a clear, declarative sentence.
4. Add transitional phrases between paragraphs.
5. Clarify all topic sentences.
6. Check that supporting details are aligned with topic sentences.
7.  Ensure all paragraphs are at least five sentences each.
8. Cross out sentences/words that are redundant or confusing.
9. Strengthen vocabulary (It was an extravagant necklace. vs. It was a pretty necklace).
10. Ask someone to read your work with a critical eye.

EDITING: Getting Picky, Pickier, Pickiest

1. Put the proper punctuation at the end of each sentence.
2. Capitalize all first words of sentences and all proper nouns.
3. Indent all paragraphs.
4. Circle any word you feel unsure about the spelling and check a dictionary.
5. Read your work aloud to hear run-ons, fragments or subject verb disagreement.
6. Read your work aloud asking if each sentence is clear and necessary.
7. Look at commas and ask yourself is my reader supposed to pause here or not.
8. Are your paragraphs clear groups of sentences discussing a single topic?
9. Use active voice at all times.
10. Check for a diversity of sentences (compound, complex, simple, exclamatory).

PUBLISHING: Making it Shine, Shine, Shine!

1. Type your work in Microsoft Word
2. Set your margins to ONE INCH on ALL sides (File, Page Setup, Margins)
3. Insert header with your last name and page number in the top left hand corner.
4. Highlight and then double space your paper
5. Center your very interesting title.
6. Do not create a double space between title and first sentences of paper
7. Add a heading that includes in this exact order: Your Name, Your Teacher’s Name,

         Your Class and the Due Date.

8. Save your paper on your computer, on a flashdrive, and then send it to yourself and someone else in an email.
9. Visit http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/01/ to double check.
10. Print on white paper with black ink.

YOUR ESSAY SHOULD LOOK LIKE THIS MODEL PEER BIOGRAPHY

Sam Davis

Mr. Walker

English 1 & 2: Pd. 5

13 October 2010

                                  A Biography of Donald Lawrence: A Guy You Should Know

            Ladies and gentlemen allow me to introduce you to a dexterous basketball player who has already designed his trademark jersey and sneakers. This Jamaican and Puerto Rican teenager is Donald Martin Lawrence, the son of Maria and Vincent Lawrence. His parents immigrated to the United States over twenty years ago and they have lived in the Bronx, where Donald was born. Although he hesitates to admit it, his cousin, Antonio, is his favorite family member because they are eternally in competition for most layups, phone numbers of the prettiest girls and even who can eat the most sancocho and jerk chicken, his favorite foods.

            Similar to most boys his age, Donald says he can’t live without his Xbox 360. This doesn’t get in his way of appreciating his family, which is what he values most in life. To this day Donald still calls “The Lion King” his favorite movie and hopes one day to share it with his children because it’s a classic that taught him many lessons. He admires the career of Denzel Washington because he always picks characters that are inspiring. One thing he believes in is that there’s good in everyone even if they behave insanely or wickedly.

            On the other hand, Donald has a poster of Lauren London on his bedroom door because he believes she is the most attractive woman in Hollywood. Given that his favorite season is the summer, maybe he could take her for a picnic in Central Park. But that may have to wait five more years when Donald expects to be considered for a draft pick in the NBA. Playing professional basketball is part of his idea of perfect happiness. The other part is having a house large enough that all of his family could live together and have dinner together all the time, but only if his Aunt Teresa cooks. As small as it sounds, Donald said if there was one thing he could change in the world it would be the amount of hungry people in the world.

            Now if you think Donald is a boring guy, wait until you hear about his music and literary tastes. Donald loved the book Of Mice and Men almost as much as he loved Letters to a Young Brother. His iPod is loaded with Eminem, Kanye and Green Day, a rock group he’s been a fan of for two years now. You would think Donald would love to have the talent of rapping or acting but actually he wishes he could cook. He wouldn’t tell the story of what happened when he and his cousin tried last summer. Very few people know that this gregarious young man is quite religious and enjoys going to church regularly.

            Finally, Donald believes an optimum friend is one who you can trust to never gossip about you  and right now his best friend is his cousin Antonio, who would play him best in a movie. It shouldn’t surprise anyone then that Donald loathes when people gossip and he himself is working on is habit of procrastinating in doing his homework. His motto in life is that you should share your love today because no one knows what might happen tomorrow. I think that’s great advice and I’m glad I got a chance to meet him. I hope you enjoyed hearing about him.